Hello Debbie fans!

Welcome to my homepage. Here you can stay up to date with all the exciting things that keep happening to me. I get so many fan letter that it became impossible to be bothered to deal with it. Most of them come from fans of my modelling work (I did a Nuts magazine many years ago, and my bottom still comes back to haunt me!) I decided to create a website that has all the information about what I’ve been up to, what I’m doing next and what you can buy with my face on.

April

I am currently filming a drama serial for Sky. It is called "Hell Bent" about a gay serial killer. It is a cross between "Seven" and "Glee".

My gay fanbase need not be worried as I am going to wear a red ribbon at the Premiere to promote AIDS.

I play the role of "Woman on Phone" - who is actually the first victim - but not of the killer. I don't want to spoil it, but there is a twist! Let's just say the policeman isn't all he seems! It's great fun, as the character is a real bitch, at least that's what I heard the director say.

February

Great news! The book deal has gone through – and “Smells Like Debbie” now has a publisher. It should be in the shops this Spring.

There was a bit of a mix up with the title. I told my my agent I wanted my perfume to be called “Smells Like Debbie”, but we had to withdraw it as in tests it brought people out in hives.

“Smells Like Debbie” will chart my rise from check out girl at Tescos to cover girl of “Nuts”, and all the bits and bobs in between. I’ve not read it yet, but they tell me it’s sensational and has the same typeface as Jordan’s.

I shall be embarking on a small book signing tour – see below for details, times and dates TBC:

Bargain Book Basement – Leeds
The Page of Innocence – Crawley
Book Me – Durham
Paperback Brighton – Brighton
The Novel Hovel – Hull
The Fictionary – Plymouth
Pulped Fiction – Chorley
JackaStory – High Wycombe
If Books Could Kill – Grimbsy
The Reading Lasses Bookshop – Aberdeen

December

BUMP ON HEAD UPDATE: As some of you may have read – after an accident with the lid of the glass coffin in "Snow White" I had to miss several performances.

I hear on the grapevine my understudy Joanne Dunderdale is doing an amazing job – I don’t know what she’s doing but every time she comes on stage the audience gasp apparently!

Thanks to all of you for your letters, cards and chocolates. And a special thanks to all the lads in D Wing who sent me a collage of photos of all their penises stuck together. I will keep it with me always.

And a special thanks to my long term boyfriend Robert for helping me through this and filling me in when I can’t remember things.

October

Good news! I got the part of “Snow White” in “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” in Eastbourne. Biggins called to tell me himself from the set of “Loose Women”, where he was promoting his cologne “Jungle Juice”.

I start rehearsing in two weeks. The evil queen is being played by my friend Brian MacMillan. I used to help him tuck his willy between his legs when he was performing his drag show –“Diva Beavers” with his friends Shirley Sassy and Wilma Dickshow at Madame JoJo’s in London.

The good news is we’ve got seven LIVE dwarves. I must find out from Biggins what you’re meant to call them. Apparently the last Snow White he had (who used to be one of the Philadelphia Girls?) called them “little people” and they all went mad. They varnished the apple and she chipped a tooth.

Biggins is playing Prince Charming and has got two numbers, “It’s Raining Men” and “So Macho”. I think children might be confused. I’m going to take lots of photos and put them up just as soon as they’re back from the developers. Some day my prints will come. (Geddit!?)

August

Good News/Bad News! First the bad news. Fools at the BBC – the Boring Buggers Corporation - have not recommissioned “StinkFinger”. It got one of the biggest audiences on BBC3 - almost 80,000, but in their wisdom there is to be no more.

Such a shame, we had great ideas lined up for the new series: Mr Hairaway was going to go on a Cruise Ship (imagine that!); my character Miss Dizzy was to try her hand at speed dating; and we had the Tired Anxious Doctors going to visit “Holby” ( it was all arranged).

I’m reprinting one of the sketches below, because they will never be filmed. Enjoy.

The good news is however, I have managed to get an audition for the lead a play! It is called “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” and I am up for Snow White. I have to meet the director, the legend that is Christopher Biggins.

I’ve been practising whistling while I work, it’s not that easy I can tell you. I’d love to get this role and finally be taken seriously as an actress. Knowing my luck, they’ll probably give it to some Blonde Bimbo.